Be careful what you wish for...but not that careful.

There's a difference.

A big tree in our little town…

Be careful what you wish for…because you might get it.

I think about this a lot lately. This saying kind of annoys me. I get it—the thing your heart or your mind or your conscience tells you it wants may not be what you actually want. And if you don’t realize that until after you get it…you’re stuck. But if we followed this warning all the time, we’d never wish for anything. Never reach beyond our abilities. Never want.

Wanting is good.

Wanting gets you out of bed in the morning and keeps you going well past when you should’ve gone to bed at night. Wanting makes you more efficient at getting the annoying, necessary life stuff done so that you have a sliver of time to focus on the amazing, beautiful stuff.

And lately, I find myself wanting something I never have before—to be known.

I never exactly had ambitions to be famous.

In a traditional sense, anyway. In my early teenage years, I set my sights on being an actor, a movie star. To be in the Goonies sequel, if they ever made one (will they ever make one??). So in high school, I did the actor thing, performing lead roles or quirky, supporting role roles at school, and hanging in the ensemble in semi-professional productions at a gem of a local theater on the New Hampshire seacoast.

Those on stage/front-of-the camera ambitions faded as I entered college and found that a) I wasn’t very good at it and b) I didn’t enjoy it all that much. The long rehearsals, the seemingly endless conversations about character motivation, the string of directors telling me, “Adam, be bigger! Be bigger!“ (come out of your shell… embrace the character… commit to the role). I realized eventually, that I didn’t want to be “bigger“ in front of people. I wanted to communicate with them, tell stories with them, without actually having to face them.

And so began my journey as a writer.

I dabbled. Some works for the stage and screen, none of which you have likely seen or heard of. That’s what dabbling gets you. A musical adaptation of a beloved children’s book, a script for a TV pilot, an arts podcast that podcrashed after six episodes, and dozens of opening scenes to plays, musicals, movies, and shows that never got off the first page.

For whatever reason, I never fully committed to any of these projects. And then, in 2021, I wrote a poem every day. Never did anything like that before, never anything that committed before. And then, in 2024, I finally published them. And then, I thought I’d give Substack a try. I would dabble.

Except, something happened. I stopped dabbling and started writing.

And talking. And showing up in front of the camera. Putting myself in front of you all. Talking with people who I never thought I would ever get to talk to. Who I never thought would want to talk to me.

And, in this regard, I’ve been very lucky. The vast majority of people I have asked to come on my little show have said yes. Yes to a conversation, yes to opening up, yes to scratching the surface just a little bit and seeing what’s underneath.

And I’m confident (mostly) that this next person (and the next, and the next) will also say yes. There are so many questions left to ask, so many stories left to tell, so many journeys together left to begin.

And, I’ve come to realize, I want more people to join me for the journey. Many, many more. I want people’s ears to perk up when Every Day, Luv is mentioned offhand in conversation. “Oh, I know that book!”…“Oh, I watch that show!”…”Oh, that’s you?”

So, yes, be careful what you wish for…but maybe not that careful.

Wish for that thing you may be slightly embarrassed to admit you want. Take the chance that, yes, it may not be what you actually want. But it might be.

That, at least for me right now, is worth the risk.

❤️
Adam